how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
