before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
