how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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