is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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