'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize