I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
