he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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