so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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