I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
