I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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