Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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