i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
