no, he came in my armpit
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
