Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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