The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
