when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
