i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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