i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
