I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
