I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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