dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.