I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
