Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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