i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
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The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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