I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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