Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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