I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
