Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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