He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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