I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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