So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
