Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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