thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
