i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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