i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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