It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
