yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm going to jail i love you
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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