So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
