he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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