If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
