yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
