They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
