he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just puked most of my soul out..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
