I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
