I'm lost and stupid without you.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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