conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize