i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
