census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
