playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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