I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
