Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
