You really coming over, don't trick.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.