I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.