he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
