How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
