with your own penis?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
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Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
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He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism