If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.