Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize